Tag Archives: Swearing

Dad Brings Home a Stranger To Our Home

A while ago, my Dad met a stranger who was new to our small town. From the beginning, Dad was fascinated with this enchanting newcomer and soon invited him to live with our family. The stranger was quickly accepted and was around from then on.

As I grew up, I never questioned his place in my family. In my young mind, he had a special niche. My parents were complementary instructors: Mom taught me good from evil, and Dad taught me to obey. But the stranger…he was our storyteller. He would keep us spellbound for hours on end with adventures, mysteries and comedies.

If I wanted to know anything about politics, history or science, he always knew the answers about the past, understood the present and even seemed able to predict the future! He took my family to the first major league. ball game. He made me laugh, and he made me cry. The. stranger never stopped talking, but Dad didn’t seem to mind.

Sometimes, Mom would get up quietly while the rest of us were shushing each other to listen to what he had to say, and she would go to the kitchen for peace and quiet. (I wonder now if she ever prayed for the stranger to leave.)

Dad ruled our household with certain moral convictions, but the stranger never felt obligated to honor them. Profanity, for example, was not allowed in our home… Not from us, our friends or any visitors. Our longtime visitor, however, got away with four-letter words that burned my ears and made my dad squirm and my mother blush. My Dad didn’t permit the use of alcohol. But the stranger encouraged us to try it on a regular basis. He made cigarettes look cool, cigars manly and pipes distinguished.

He talked freely (much too freely!) about sex. His comments were sometimes blatant, sometimes suggestive, and generally embarrassing.

I now know that my early concepts about relationships were influenced strongly by the stranger. Time after time, he opposed the values of my parents, yet he was seldom rebuked… And NEVER asked to leave.

More than fifty years have passed since the stranger moved in with our family. He has blended right in and is not nearly as fascinating as he was at first. Still, if you could walk into my parents’ den today, you would still find him sitting over in his corner, waiting for someone to listen to him talk and watch him draw his pictures. Categorically, he destroyed all the moral values, ethics, love, time for each other and other good qualities we had in our family…..whilst adding some unnoticeable quantity of positive stuff also, which any way we would have had even without him……

His name?…. .. .

We just call him ‘TV.’

6 PRODUCTIVE TIPS TO TAME YOUR CHILD’S FOUL MOUTH

child soap in mouth

Your child just blurted a word of profanity!? Find out how you can handle this delicate situation.

“What!?” You shift around to glance at your 6-year-old. You give him a heavy stare and then ask again, “What did you say?” He repeats the word again with the casualness of a morning greeting. Your 6-year-old just blurted a word of profanity!

How do you handle this delicate situation? Well, there are several things you can do to discourage your child from saying bad words. Here are 6 productive ways to get started:

  • Try to determine if older family members, friends, or TV viewing are providing your child with the improper words he is using. Young children are excellent mimickers. If they are hearing inappropriate words from those they regularly interact with, you might have a continuous battle trying to get them to stop using the words themselves. If you conclude they are getting the words from others around them, attempt to limit your child’s contact with these sources and mention your concerns to the individuals, as well.

Abu Hurairah   reported: The Prophet said, «A man utters a word pleasing to Allah without considering it of any significance for which Allah exalts his ranks (in Jannah); another one speaks a word displeasing to Allah without considering it of any importance, and for this reason he will sink down into Hell.» (Bukhari)

  • Explain to your child that the words he is using are not good words and that he is a Muslim, and Muslims should use decent words. Teach him the hadith in which The Prophet (saw) said: «Whosoever believes in Allah and the Last Day, let him say good or remain silent.» (Muslim)

Mention this hadith to your child often, not only during times of flagrantly ill speech, but also when he calls his friends and siblings hurtful names.

  • Provide your child with alternative words to use when he uses inappropriate words of a lower grade than profanity. Tell him instead of saying I hate Jamal, say Jamal “irritates” me. Children take pleasure in learning new words and phrases.
  • When you hear your child using proper words, compliment his behavior. One way of showing your child you are pleased with his pleasant words is by using incentive charts. Simply place a star on your child’s chart whenever he uses good words instead of negative words. When he reaches a certain number of stars such as ten, give him a special treat. Incentive charts work wonders! Acknowledging your child’s proper speech will go a long way toward encouraging him to use suitable words in the future, In sha Allah.

The Prophet said, «When the son of Adam gets up in the morning, all the limbs humble themselves before the tongue and say: ‘Fear Allah for our sake because we are with you: (i.e., we will be rewarded or punished as a result of what you do) if you are straight, we will be straight; and if you are crooked, we will become crooked.‘» (Tirmidhi).

  • If the words aren’t exceedingly objectionable, try ignoring your child when he uses distasteful words. Sometimes kids go through phases with offensive words. They use them for a while then switch to others. Although the words ‘stupid’, ‘crazy’, and ‘dumb’ aren’t nice words, they aren’t profanity. It can become a chore following every single improper word your child uses.

However the following verse from the Qur’an is a great reminder for your child:

{O you who believe! let not (one) people laugh at (another) people perchance they may be better than they, nor let women (laugh) at (other) women, perchance they may be better than they; and do not find fault with your own people nor call one another by nicknames; evil is a bad name after faith, and whoever does not turn, these it is that are the unjust.} [Al-Hujurat:11]

  • Set a good example for your child. When you speak to or about others, use pleasant words. Let your children hear good words flowing from your mouth on a regular basis. In the long run, this might be the most productive way of taming your child’s foul mouth.

Abu Musa Al-Ash’ari  reported: “I asked the Messenger of Allah : “Who is the most excellent among the Muslims?” He said, «One from whose tongue and hands the other Muslims are secure» (Muslim).


Source: ProductiveMuslim