Love & Hate

Imām Ibn Qayyim Al-Jawziyyah (رحمه الله) said:

‘And the Religion revolves around 4 principles; i) Love, ii) Hate; and which result in either, iii) Action or iv) Abandonment.

And so whomsoever loves, hates, acts or abandons for the sake of Allāh, then they have perfected their Īmān. As in, if they love; they love for Allāh, if they hate; they hate for Allāh, if they do an action; they do it for Allāh and if they abandon something; they abandon it for Allāh.

And īmān will decrease in direct correlation to its defficieny in these 4 principles.”

Ar-Rūh “The Soul”, Publisher: Al-Maktab Al-Islāmī – page 490.

Original post taken from Good Tree Pubs – Here

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Polygamy Unpicked – But I Just Can’t Accept Polygamy

Post taken from Polygamy Unpicked – Original linked here

Why is it so hard to accept polygamy? Why is so excruciating to share my husband? When will I be able to feel OK about my husband having another wife?

One reply to these sorts of questions I came across really struck me: you first have to accept you don’t own your husband.

 

‘But of course I don’t own him!’

Well, we ideally don’t want to admit this, but there is often a sense of ownership there – ‘He’s my husband’, ‘He’s my other half’. ‘He’d never take a second wife, he wouldn’t dare!’

When we feel we own something, we have power over what happens to it. But no one owns anyone – Islam promotes abolishing slavery – and we are only owned by Allah (SWT), we are His slaves.

Our husband is not our possession, our children are not even so; they are a trust to take care of from Allah

What we do possess is a relationship between us and our husband – and no one can take that away, bithnillah, even another wife entering the family. What may spoil this relationship is the resentment a husband might possess from feeling owned.

It’s understandable to feel threatened by another wife, by the imaginings of what your husband thinks of you because of his polygamous desires, but if he makes the effort to show you he still loves you as much as before, that your relationship has not changed. He deserves to be respected and not treated in a controlling way that pushes him away. ‘If you marry another wife, I’m leaving,’ or ‘If you want polygamy, I want a divorce.’ These threats will be seen as controlling and manipulative, and if there is no other valid reason to end the relationship, they are best avoided.

When we recognize that only Allah (SWT) has the power to allow your husband to get into polygam,y and whatever we say or do will not change the outcome, there can be a sense of peace, especially for those whose husband seems to be pursuing a subsequent wife on a regular basis. Of course, we can communicate our feelings and hurt about the situation – maybe there is something a husband can say or do to ease the pain.

When we relinquish ownership of our husband, we also gain the freedom ourselves to accept polygamy. We then realize our husband chooses to come back to us, not because he is chained in a relationship, but because he wants to and he wants you.

I know being in this situation is hard, and can feel painful to your core – you just want it to go away. I hope some of the perspectives I am writing about ease that pain a tiny bit. Do let me know if this is the case, or any other comments you may have down in the comments section, or join the discussions on our Facebook page and follow Polygamy Unpicked on Twitter

 

The Marriage Of A Noble Qurayshi Woman To A Slave

‘Umar Ibn Al-Khattaab (ra) encouraged the people to perform marriages with different tribes, so that love would develop amongst the people. Therefore, a slave went to a man from the Quraysh and asked him to marry his sister to him, which the latter refused.

‘Umar went to that man and asked him, “Why did you not marry your sister to him? He is a talented and pious individual. You should seek the opinion of your sister; if she accepts the proposal then you should marry her to him.

The man from the Quraysh accepted the advice of ‘Umar and went to his sister to ask her opinion. She agreed to the marriage and the married his sister to the slave.

[Al-Murtadaa, by An-Nadawee, p. 106]

On Rushing to Show Sympathy for the Non-Muslims

“Those who hasten to show sympathy with the non-Muslims when they are afflicted, and slow to express that when Muslims are afflicted, are weak in faith and have a problem in the creed of allegiance and disavowal.”

– Shaykh Muhammad Salih al Munajjid

Mawlid – ‘You will certainly follow the ways of those who came before you…’

Assalaamu Alaykum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuhu,

So mawlid time again…

We all know the arguments, backwards and forwards on youtube, social media, with work colleagues and friends in the masaajid, we do it every year and others have refuted mawlid much better than myself so I am just going to leave the mawlid tree out there again just to show how ridiculous this whole celebration can get.

The rest you can get from those who are more knowledgeable than myself out there and why we should not celebrate this custom, which was introduced into Islam 300 years after our Nabi (Sallallahu alayhi wa salam) passed into the life of the grave.

Mawlid as a newly innovated matter into our deen, Islam Q&A
https://islamqa.info/en/249

How to deal with those around us celebrating Mawlid, Islam Q&A
https://islamqa.info/en/125690

Assalaamu Alaykum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuhu,

Gingerbeardman

Keep The Partitions Up

Gender mixing (ikhtilat) leads to flirting. Flirting leads to touching. Touching leads to zina. Zina leads to the destruction of marriage. The destruction of marriage leads to the downfall of family. The downfall of family leads to the end of humanity. Keep the partitions up.

~Daniel Haqiqatjou

Changing My Life With Fitbit Charge 2

Assalaamu Alaykum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuhu,

So it’s been a long, LONG time since I discussed my health and fitness regime on my blog…

Probably because it went down the drain and has been needing a reboot for quite a while so in this post I’m going to talk about my new fitbit charge 2, how fantastic it is, how well it’s worked for me Alhamdulillah and why maybe you should probably think about buying one too.

JUST A CRAZE?

So this fitness fitbit thing has been on my radar for the past year or so, even without a TV or taking much interest in popular culture, some things like this do creep in to my view and attracts my interest, like what’s that? Does it work? Is it worth the cost?

Especially as I keep seeing them increasingly at work, who give them out as one of the prizes for taking part in certain healthy living schemes they promote to make us extra super fit uber productive workers!

But at £120 or there about’s it’s quite an expensive bit of kit, for what is effectively a digital watch if it doesn’t work so I was going to wait and see if seems to be the real deal.

I also thought it wouldn’t help me in my current stage of getting healthy, which is trying to slim down enough so I can get out and jog without too much risk of damaging my knees or getting shin splints.

Then the Mrs went and bought me one as a present…

SO DOES IT WORK?

Short answer is yes… if you stick with it. The concept is not something new, the monitoring of in-comings and outgoings has been around for decades and effectively does the same as MyFitnessPal mobile phone app but much more efficiently as you only need to enter in your in-comings, the daily exercise grind is all entered for you when the phone updates from a bluetooth connection to your fitbit device.

By seeing your steps going up and up, as well as the number of floors you’ve done or minutes exercised etc, it gives you a real sense of getting somewhere, a tamagotchi type buzz of achievement as you hit each target and smash them and keep going onward and upward.

Now if you’re going to cheat, forget to enter in that sneaky burger or chocolate bar you had at lunch, then maybe the fitbit is not for you, but if you’re willing to stick with it then by effectively monitoring you food and exercise you will quickly see where you are going wrong, what habits you need to break and what you need to work on and it’s all available to see on the phone ap or on a PC dashboard.

It even measures your sleep pattern and asks you to enter your water intake each day, these being two areas of health and fitness people often fail to monitor.

RESULTS SO FAR

So results so far, in a month and a half of using the fitbit has been losses of 10lbs, as well as some reasonable gains in muscle mass around my shoulders and arms and corresponding fat losses from my substantial waist and the rest of my body.

If you want an idea of what 10lbs of fat looks like, see the image here, or else weigh out 10lbs of butter as animal fat is about the same mass and size as butter.

The beauty of the fitbit is that it enables you to choose your own exercise regime and then monitor the results, so if you want to push the weights, there is an option for that, if you want to run or jog, an option for that and so on and so on.

Unlike with other health and fitness regimes I’ve tried, there is no where to hide with fitbit, it’s harder to cheat and if you fail you not only see it on the scales but you can see why it is on the app or dashboard.

GOING FORWARD

I can really see myself using this for a long time to come and as I’ve lost weight, I’ve gained energy, as opposed  to feeling drained and lethargic which happens when people only diet and don’t exercise.

Extra energy I’ve been able to put into studying the deen, getting into reading al-Adab al-Mufrad as well as getting into listening to lectures and reading more about my own totally unprofessional interest in psychology.

Given how quickly the fitbit has helped me slim down I can see myself being back in the gym in the matter of the next couple of months, as opposed to 6-9 months which was my previous target and getting on those running machines to target that hard to reach subdermal fatty layers and push myself to my higher goals in gaining and maintaining a more healthy body.

A healthier body has brought me more confidence, a better relationship with my family as I’m not constantly tired, except sometimes in a good post exercise good way and finally restored my confidence in being able to Insha’Allah get my body back into shape whilst I still can given my age.

If you were like me, struggling to know where to start with getting healthy, then fitbit could easily be good for you and if you only gain the benefits I have so far, worth the £120 expenditure.

Assalaamu Alaykum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuhu,

Gingerbeardman

‘Ad Deen an Naseeha’

And when they are called to [the words of] Allah and His Messenger to judge between them, at once a party of them turns aside [in refusal].
But if the right is theirs, they come to him in prompt obedience.
Quran translation, Surah an-Nur, 24:48-49

Assalaamu Alaykum,

How many of us are the type of people described in the two verses above?

That when are in the wrong, we have every excuse for ourselves, no no no it’s this and that reason, you don’t understand, it’s all the other persons fault, etc etc.

So when someone comes to us with trying to show us the correct path from the Quran and Sunnah whether the wronged party or someone giving us sincere advice we turn away.

But when the evidence from the Quran and sunnah is on our side, oh now things are different.

Now, it’s “ad deen an naseeha” now we ask how can the other person turn away from the Quran and sunnah, what is wrong with them, what sort of sinful person are they to reject our ‘daleel’ do they even have any emaan?

These verses actually describe a trait of the munafiq, how lightly we take this danger in our lives that we could fall into nifaq and be raised in that state on the day of judgement.

This is a reminder very much to myself as well as others, we are all sinful and weak at times. Better to admit it and try to fix up, we shouldn’t try to wriggle our way out of things because even if that works for a time with the people around us, it will not work with the Rabbil ‘alamin.

Assalaamu Alaykum,

Gingerbeardman