I WAS – POEM BY SISTER CANDYAPPLE

They told me to keep it hush hush
But i cant cause it’s been waiting in ambush
Now I know what I need to do to end this
Locked inside my car im ready to dismiss

Look at my mother and sister crying hysterically
Banging on the doors and windows frantically
Their eyes wild with fear, the kind I too well recognise
Begging me to stop, watching them agonise

I cannot live it’s not the guilt alone
I sought great pleasure in battlefield and war zone
Western hero, the great soldier I was
Seeking great pleasure getting a kick and a buzz

While watching the life suck out of my victim’s eyes
Their family pleading me to stop as each one dies
They were all innocent that we knew so well
But were they humans? We couldn’t tell
They weren’t civilised like we are- so we were told
They didn’t deserve their property; natural resources like oil and gold

Many war crimes committed we proudly boast
We tortured them terribly more than most
It was only after we came back to our lives
We realised with us our victim survives

The blood on my hands I could never shake off
Never felt at peace always uneasy and rough
The docs pescribed some ineffective med
Only sent me over the edge cause now I see the dead

My soldier buddies all committed suicide
I was the only one of them left that hadn’t died
But now I’m sat here in my car as reality blurs
My own mother and sister look like one of the victim’s girls’
Who cried out for their father as I sniggered at them verminously
And shot their father dead in cold blood, mercilessly

Now as I’m about to pull the trigger to my head
I look around me as all my victims are lying dead
And all of their families crying out in agonising pain
As I did to others now fell upon me as I blew out my own brain

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